***Congrats to Foretta, the randomly selected winner of my Hop Against Homophobia giveaway. And thank you to all who participated!***
I was not raised to believe that homosexuality is okay. That was a conclusion I had to reach on my own after shaking off the misguided and sometimes vitriolic views I'd been bombarded with, from many directions, during my formative years. I'm sure there are many people reading this / participating in this blog hop who also grew up surrounded by similar sentiments. But for those who haven't experienced that, I guess all this might sound a little weird. But I wanted to share about my own experience with homophobia in my Hop Against Homophobia post, so here goes...
Just sayin': This is just a brief account of my experience and the thoughts I had at the time. I'm not trying to drag religion into it, but I couldn't explain without mentioning it (since religion is, sadly, often used as an excuse for asinine homophobic behavior).
Even as a child, it made me uncomfortable to hear people depreciate or rant about homosexuals. Getting all worked up about other people's sexual orientations just seemed so mean and unfair and like such a...burden. I mean, I was also raised to be religious, and many of the people I knew were also at least vaguely religious, so when people would bash homosexuality (often stating that it was morally wrong) I'd sometimes point out that according to the morals of their religion, it's wrong to judge, and you're supposed to treat others as they're supposed to be treated.
Of course, people would usually agree. Which always left me wondering what the hell being 'against' homosexuality like they were was even about. I mean, according to them (in words anyway, not always necessarily in practice), you're not supposed to judge people for being homosexual, and you're not supposed to treat them any differently, so then what are you supposed to do -- how does your disapproval manifest in any acceptable way or matter at all, and if it doesn't, what the point?
I mean, what are you supposed to do, carry around a secret disapproval, a hidden disdain that you fume inwardly about? No, that's not right, and you'll give yourself a freakin' ulcer worrying about all the gay love in the world. So I didn't do it. I didn't try to force myself to be offended by other people's sexuality. Obviously -- if I was against homosexuality, I wouldn't write M/M romance. In retrospect, I see that they never really stood a chance of getting me to embrace their phobia -- I'm an INFJ, ffs, it's not in my nature.
And I adore romance. Seeing people in love makes me happy, no matter their sexual orientation. I can't imagine hating them for it. And when it comes to fiction, I love reading and writing love stories, period. Not just heterosexual love stories. And the notion of trying to deprive people of love just because they share the same gender as their partner just seems...beyond ridiculous. Love is special; everyone has a right to pursue it and others shouldn't try to stop it.
I could rant for a long time about how morally deranged and hurtful homophobia is and how it's not compatible with the belief systems people often try to use to justify it, but I know I don't need to try to convince the people are participating in this hop.
Anyway, just being surrounded by people (as I often find myself) who will try to make you feel ashamed and perverted (seriously) for not sharing their disdain is stressful. I can only imagine how terrible it would be to actually be homosexual and have to deal with people who feel its their right to judge your sexuality. I'm currently living in an area of the American South where bigotry and prejudices of all sorts are sadly common. Homophobia is only one such issue, but it's probably the one that has the least amount of people who are willing to speak out against it. So, that's why I'm glad to be able to participate in this blog hop.
I grew up often surrounded by homophobia. I am not a homosexual, but I'm proud to have rejected the senseless discrimination, which has allowed me to embrace two of the most important tenets of the better views I was also raised to accept -- treating others as I would like to be treated, and not judging them.
What about you -- has homophobia been a constant presence in your life / childhood? Or were you raised in a more accepting environment? Either way, how did it make you feel?
:) And now for the prizes I'm offering...
1) Okay, this first one is for everyone. My M/M romance Whiskey Dreams is currently available for free download in all ebook formats from All Romance and Smashwords. If you pick up a copy, I hope you enjoy it.
The war that won the country its independence also lost many of the men who fought to achieve it, including Brom's lover. Years later, he still feels as if he left half of himself on the battlefield. When a new schoolmaster comes to Sleepy Hollow, a spark and a whiskey-flavored kiss ignite feelings he thought were long dead. But in order to be with John, he'll have to let the past be the past, or risk letting it destroy his opportunity to start over. And even then, loving another man is a dangerous endeavor.
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2) Now, this prize will be awarded to a random commenter who answers the question I asked above in bold letters. The prize includes an ebook copy (in the format of the winner's choice) of my novel Haunted Passions, which is the sequel to Whiskey Dreams and a $10 Starbucks gift card. This is so that while the winner is reading about all the sexiness that occurs in Sleepy Hollow, they can enjoy a cup of delicious coffee, which is guaranteed to make the reading experience 100% more delicious. (^_~) (Also, I was in the throes of a severe coffee craving when I decided to give this away.)
A winner will be randomly selected, contacted and announced on 5/21. Remember, you must answer the question in bold letters and include your e-mail address to be eligible to win. The gift card is only valid the US or Canada (sorry to my international friends, wish it wasn't so).
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P.S. I'm also part of another Hop Against Homophobia post at the Sex Scheming Geniuses blog -- a writing blog that's a joint effort between me and two other erotic romance / M/M authors. We're giving away a huge (and delightfully naughty) prize package, so be sure to stop by: www.sexscheminggeniuses.blogspot.com